[A227.Ebook] Free Ebook Robot Development Using Microsoft Robotics Developer Studio, by Shih-Chung Kang, Wei-Tze Chang, Kai-Yuan Gu, Hung-Lin Chi

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The Microsoft® Robotics Developer Studio (MSRDS) and LEGO® robots together offer a flexible platform for creating robotic systems. Designed for novices with basic programming skills, Robot Development Using Microsoft® Robotics Developer Studio provides clear instructions on developing and operating robots. It includes an extensive array of examples, with corresponding step-by-step tutorials and explanations.

The first several chapters of the book introduce the development environment of MSRDS, including concurrency and coordination runtime (CCR), decentralized software services (DSS), visual simulation environment (VSE), and the Microsoft Visual Programming Language (MVPL). The text then covers the inputs and outputs to the robot and control logic and describes how MSRDS can be used to control a LEGO robot’s hearing and vision. It also presents a real-life example involving a sumo robot contest. The final chapter provides information on related academic courses, websites, and books.

The top-down approach used in this text helps readers think of a robot as a system rather than an assemblage of parts. Readers gain an understanding of methods for integration, design trade-offs, and teamwork―all essential skills for building robots. The MSRDS codes for all examples are available at http://msrds.caece.net/

• Sales Rank: #3546798 in Books
• Brand: Brand: Chapman and Hall/CRC
• Published on: 2011-06-23
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 10.00" h x .80" w x 7.20" l, 1.55 pounds
• Binding: Hardcover
• 287 pages

Features

• Used Book in Good Condition

Review

Readers will appreciate the authors’ step-by-step approach to programming and constructing a basic robot that can interact with the world. This combination of a top-down approach and a step-by-step guide instructs the reader to take a holistic, system-based perspective rather than a traditional functional-component-based one when exploring the construction of an autonomous robot.
―Eric W. Yocam, Computing Reviews, March 2012

About the Author

Shih-Chung (Jessy) Kang is an associate professor in the Department of Civil Engineering at National Taiwan University (NTU). Dr. Kang began using MSRDS on a research project in 2006 before its official launch by Microsoft and now often teaches about robotics using it. He earned his Ph.D. from Stanford University.

Wei-Tze (Aries) Chang is a postdoctoral researcher at NTU. Dr. Chang is also an adjunct assistant professor in the Department of Civil Engineering at Tamkang University. He earned his Ph.D. from NTU.

Kai-Yuan Gu is a digital design engineer for the Mighty Power Solutions Corp., where he designs automated products for energy-saving devices and lighting. He earned a master’s degree from NTU.

Hung-Lin Chi is a doctoral student in the Department of Civil Engineering at NTU. He is currently researching the integration of robot-sensing techniques into remote-controlled systems for cranes.

Most helpful customer reviews

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Programación de robots con MRDS
By Pedro Martín
El libro es bueno y muy completo sobre el uso del software para programación y simulación de robots. Es bastante bueno para comenzar a usar la aplicación.

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[G225.Ebook] PDF Ebook Illuminate: Ignite Change Through Speeches, Stories, Ceremonies, and Symbols, by Nancy Duarte, Patti Sanchez

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"THE PEOPLE WHO ARE CRAZY ENOUGH TO THINK THEY CAN CHANGE THE WORLD ARE THE ONES WHO DO."

With these words, Apple Inc., and its leader, Steve Jobs, catalyzed a movement. Whenever Jobs took the stage to talk about new Apple products, the whole world seemed to stop and listen. That’s because Jobs was offering a vision of the future. He wanted you to feel what the world might someday be like, and trust him to take you there.

As a leader, you have the same potential to not only anticipate the future and invent creative initiatives, but to also inspire those around you to support and execute your vision.
In Illuminate, acclaimed author Nancy Duarte and communications expert Patti Sanchez equip you with the same communication tools that great leaders like Jobs, Howard Schultz, and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. used to move people. Duarte and Sanchez lay out a plan to help you lead people through the five stages of transformation using speeches, stories, ceremonies, and symbols.

This visual and accessible communication guidebook will show you how Apple, Starbucks, IBM, charity: water, and others have mobilized people to embrace bold changes.To envision the future is one thing, getting others to go there with you is another. By harnessing the power of persuasive communication you, too, can turn your idea into a movement.

• Sales Rank: #6386 in Books
• Published on: 2016-02-16
• Released on: 2016-02-16
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 8.31" h x 1.05" w x 8.50" l, 1.25 pounds
• Binding: Hardcover
• 336 pages

Review
“Whether it is to well-dressed executives or begrimed young soldiers, there is a vast difference between simply transmitting information and effectively communicating. �Illuminate is a tremendous guide for anyone who must educate, motivate or inspire – and that’s just about all of us.”
—General Stanley McChrystal, author of Team of Teams and cofounder of McChrystal Group

“Great leaders aren’t measured by their volume but by their ability to be truly heard. To motivate others, leaders must listen and communicate empathetically. With�Illuminate, everyone can learn to lead — even without being loud.”
—Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, and cofounder of Quiet Revolution

"Duarte and Sanchez give us the unique concept that our company’s change and growth have the structure of epic drama; we make our stories through working out our difficulties. She gives an even deeper insight that we must begin our next journey before the current one ends. Most people misunderstand the role of story in our lives, but by understanding it, we can use it as a metaphor for leading."
—Ed Catmull, President of Pixar Animation Studios and Walt Disney Animation Studios, and author of Creativity, Inc

“Change can be fear-filled in prospect but fearsome in effect.� With Illuminate, Duarte and Sanchez light our path through that crucial transition dazzlingly.”
—Robert B. Cialdini, author of Influence

“Leading people through change is hard to do, especially for leaders who don’t communicate well. But Illuminate makes it easy with a clear roadmap and comprehensive communication toolkit that will help any leader learn how to inspire and activate people.”
—Beth Comstock, Vice-Chair of GE

About the Author
NANCY DUARTE is a communications expert and the CEO of Duarte, Inc., the largest design firm in Silicon Valley. She is the author of Resonate: Present Visual Stories that Transform Audiences, Slide:ology: The Art and Science of Creating Great Presentations, and HBR Guide to Persuasive Presentations. She has been featured in Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Wired, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Harvard Business Review,and many other outlets.

PATTI SANCHEZ, the Chief Strategy Officer for Duarte, has distilled twenty-five years of experience as a communicator into this book. She has led transformative communications initiatives for brands including Cisco, Ericsson, Hewlett-Packard, LexisNexis, Nike, Symantec, VMware, and Compassion International, and has taught hundreds of leaders to become more empathetic and effective communicators. Her work has been honored with awards from IABC, BMA, and Vital Speeches of the Day.

Most helpful customer reviews

39 of 40 people found the following review helpful.
It's Beyond the Hero's Journey
By Frankie
Nancy and Patti help leaders understand why even our very best rehearsed and timely communications FLOP! Despite being brief, clear, charming... and even presenting to the right audience, won't always produce results.

Nancy and Patti will force you to look at communication and storytelling in yet another way. These ladies take one beyond the hero's journey and most importantly give leaders practical advice as to how to improve and better explain "the change" we would like our audience to experience.

Too often our audience/organization/customers/clients seem to agree on the next steps... they agree it's tactically the right way to take them... and despite you leading the way, though they are all in agreement with you, not enough follow.

Nancy and Patti will help you cross the chasm of empathy and persuasion in order to positively influence your audience.

Well why not 5 Stars?

I wish there was 2 rating systems, one for REAL Experts (like Nancy & Patti)... and one for wannabe internet experts. Because I am rating this book in light of their previous 2 books, this book is a 4 Star.

If Nancy had only written "Slideology" and skipped "Resonate", this would be a 5-Star... but in light of the HIGH BAR they have set at DUARTE, I think it's fair to say this is a 4-Star.

Don't worry, If this book is your Intro to Nancy Duarte and Patti... I promise you too will become a FAN!

Oh, and if you're wondering which of the 3 books to read first, I'd start with this book, as it feels more like an intro to Resonate,.. then Resonate, and finish with Slideology.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Finally a book that both inspires and gives the most practical advice on walking it out I've ever seen.
By DJ
Do you believe that the stories you tell can change the world? What if I were to tell you that they already are, and you've been telling them your whole life?

Every day we tell ourselves stories that either tear us down or build is up.

"This world is getting worse and worse and there's nothing that I can do to change it. I can't even change myself..."

We believe this negative narrative so strongly that they literally create the reality we live in. So what do we do? The key is to tell ourselves a better story. One where we're the hero. One that ignites passion and change in ourselves and those around us.

"I have a dream..."

This book just came out and I'be already read it through twice-- scribbling notes like a mad man and underlining so much of the pages that it probably defeats the purpose. I'm using it as the blueprint for my life and our organization. And it's working.

If you're tired of books that tell you what's wrong with the world, but don't tell you how to walk it out or, if they attempt to, it reads like someone's doctoral thesis? Then you need to get this book. Don't let another day pass you by. It will change your life.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Casting Light on the Dark Arts of Communications
By Ian D. Griffin
For Duarte and Sanchez, this book is in support of the common purpose they champion where change is driven by leaders, whom they term ‘Torchbearers’, envisioning new possibilities. They ‘light the path’ as they set out to change the world and bring ’Travelers’ on the journey along with them. If this sounds like the plot to Lord of the Rings, well, in addition to Durkheim, they quote Frodo Baggins, Aragorn and the others as they motivate the hobbits to set out on the quest for the Ring.

However, this book is anything but a fairy tale.

Duarte, Inc is one of the premier communications agencies in Silicon Valley. Since it was founded in 1990, Nancy Duarte has built a stellar reputation as a PowerPoint guru (with her first book, slide:ology) and general communications consultant (cemented by Resonate, her second book). With ‘Illuminate’ she has broadened her scope to include not only presentations and speeches, but stories, ceremonies and symbols. These are all weapons in the ‘torchbearer’s toolkit’ that can be employed to affect what people think, feel and do as they move through what she calls the ‘five stages of a venture’: Dream, Leap, Fight, Climb, and Arrive. If this sounds like the content of a classic 4�5 matrix, well, you’ll find it summarized in a handy-dandy fold-out between pages 58 and 59.

Using this taxonomy allows you to choose the right tool for the job depending which stage an audience is on the journey. While not a ‘paint by numbers’ approach to communications, after reading Illuminate you will know what to deploy if, say, you need to rally the troops. The advice is to deliver a ‘battle speech’ or tell an ‘overcome the enemy story’ or hold a ‘rally the spirits’ ceremony. What I really liked about the classification is that we’re not left with the usual Pollyanna advice that assumes everything is wonderful. Each stage addressees the negative as well as the positive. So if people in an organization are resistant to change we are told what we might hear them say (“I just don’t see how this could work”) and advised on how to craft and deliver a ‘revolution’ speech or ‘neglect the call’ story. By dealing with the dark side of communications Duarte & Sanchez have given leaders a robust set of guidelines well suited to the real world.

Some of the most powerful parts of the book deal with how different organizations dealt with total failure: when PeopleSoft was bought by Oracle and the employees made the company sign into a makeshift memorial; how Coke reversed their disastrous decision to abandon Classic Coke; how Mary Barra, CEO of General Motors, addressed her employees when they needed to recall faulty ignition switches that had caused deaths.

I was struck by the degree of first-hand knowledge and insight in the case studies that conclude the main chapters. Each analysis includes an extensive narrative and quotes that make the study come alive. There’s a bonus a multi-point summary of highlights. Showing their Silicon Valley roots, Duarte & Sanchez’s case studies include the usual suspects— tech titans like IBM and Apple. But there’s also a floor-covering company, a non-profit, and a fast-food company. Most appropriately, the concluding study is of Duarte itself, detailing the transformation the company underwent as it pivoted to overhaul systems and improve operations.

Like her previous books, Illuminate is a beautifully designed, eminently readable, detailed account of the scenarios those of us in corporate communications face on a daily basis. Read it if your job is to enable the Torchbearer’s to ignite change, Frodo would certainly make sure it’s on his bookshelf back in the Shire.

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A retelling of Dickens's ghost story with Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and other Disney creations depicting the original characters.

• Sales Rank: #2745602 in Books
• Published on: 1999-12-31
• Released on: 1999-12-31
• Original language: English
• Dimensions: 11.25" h x 8.50" w x .50" l,
• Binding: Hardcover
• 22 pages

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Here at last is an anthology that is not simply a collection of texts, but a carefully crafted tool for teaching and learning. This concise, single-volume, edition includes all the features of the longer volumes, but with a manageable amount of literature that can be covered in a single semester comprehensive survey course. With engaging author and selection introductions and generous gloss notes, The Bedford Anthology of American Literature, Shorter Edition, helps students read, appreciate, and understand American literature. The unsurpassed illustration program helps students grasp the cultural, material, and social conditions in which literary works are produced. Several innovative features supply additional contexts for the literature, while others help students reflect on why American literature is relevant and worth reading today. View the flyer.

• Sales Rank: #422022 in Books
• Published on: 2013-09-06
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.11" h x 2.59" w x 6.98" l, .0 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 2416 pages

About the Author
Susan Belasco (BA, Baylor University; PhD, Texas A&M University), professor of English and women's studies at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln, has taught courses in writing and American literature at several institutions since 1974, including McLennan Community College; Allegheny College; California State University, Los Angeles; and the University of Tulsa. The editor of Margaret Fuller's Summer on the Lakes and Fanny Fern's Ruth Hall, she is also the coeditor of three collections of essays: Approaches to Teaching Stowe's "Uncle Tom's Cabin"; Periodical Literature in Nineteenth-Century America; and Leaves of Grass: The Sesquicentennial Essays. The editor of "Walt Whitman's Periodical Poetry" for the Walt Whitman Archive (whitmanarchive.org), she is the current president of the Research Society for American Periodicals. �Linck Johnson (BA, Cornell University; PhD, Princeton University), the Charles A. Dana Professor of English at Colgate University, has taught courses in writing and American literature and culture since 1974. He is the author of Thoreau's Complex Weave: The Writing of "A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers," with the Text of the First Draft, the Historical Introduction to A Week in the Princeton University Press edition of The Writings of Henry D. Thoreau, and numerous articles and contributions to books. The recipient of a National Endowment for the Humanities Fellowship at the American Antiquarian Society, he is a member of the Editorial Board of the Collected Works of Ralph Waldo Emerson and ESQ: A Journal of the American Renaissance.

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If you are interested in American Lit. This is ...
By Anthony Vinci
If you are interested in American Lit. This is your bible. Anyone looking to became literature teachers make this your go to. Only downfall is it is a bulky book.

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This book introduces readers to the design of adaptive equalization solutions integrated in standard CMOS technology for high-speed serial links. Since continuous-time equalizers offer various advantages as an alternative to discrete-time equalizers at multi-gigabit rates, this book provides a detailed description of continuous-time adaptive equalizers design - both at� transistor and system levels-, their main characteristics and performances. The authors begin with a complete review and analysis of the state of the art of equalizers for wireline applications, describing why they are necessary, their types, and their main applications. Next, theoretical fundamentals of continuous-time adaptive equalizers are explored. Then, new structures are proposed to implement the different building blocks of the adaptive equalizer: line equalizer, loop-filters, power comparator, etc.� The authors demonstrate the design of a complete low-power, low-voltage, high-speed, continuous-time adaptive equalizer. Finally, a cost-effective CMOS receiver which includes the proposed continuous-time adaptive equalizer is designed for 1.25 Gb/s optical communications through 50-m length, 1-mm diameter plastic optical fiber (POF).

• Sales Rank: #2563673 in Books
• Published on: 2014-09-23
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.21" h x .44" w x 6.14" l, .0 pounds
• Binding: Hardcover
• 148 pages

From the Back Cover

This book introduces readers to the design of adaptive equalization solutions integrated in standard CMOS technology for high-speed serial links. Since continuous-time equalizers offer various advantages as an alternative to discrete-time equalizers at multi-gigabit rates, this book provides a detailed description of continuous-time adaptive equalizers design - both at transistor and system levels-, their main characteristics and performances. The authors begin with a complete review and analysis of the state of the art of equalizers for wireline applications, describing why they are necessary, their types, and their main applications. Next, theoretical fundamentals of continuous-time adaptive equalizers are explored. Then, new structures are proposed to implement the different building blocks of the adaptive equalizer: line equalizer, loop-filters, power comparator, etc.� The authors demonstrate the design of a complete low-power, low-voltage, high-speed, continuous-time adaptive equalizer. Finally, a cost-effective CMOS receiver which includes the proposed continuous-time adaptive equalizer is designed for 1.25 Gb/s optical communications through 50-m length, 1-mm diameter plastic optical fiber (POF).� �

����Covers complete design flow of continuous-time adaptive equalizers, from analysis of theoretical fundamentals to the final architecture;

���Includes analysis, design, and implementation of the main adaptive equalizer blocks, revealing key challenges and solutions in the design of such high performance cells;

���Discusses the most important points in the design of an adaptive equalizer, considering restrictions of the optical link and the limitations in submicron CMOS implementations.���������

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• Sales Rank: #6573457 in Books
• Published on: 1968
• Binding: Paperback

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Five Stars
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Very nice program. Completely satisfied. Go Pack and go Chiefs!

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• Published on: 2014-04-12
• Binding: Paperback

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• Sales Rank: #50998 in Books
• Brand: Ogle, Robert R., Jr.
• Published on: 2011-01-14
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 8.90" h x .90" w x 7.30" l, 1.39 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 480 pages

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Very informative
By Casey
I like the information and the diagrams in this book. It is value added for the future. Normally, I try to sell back my books after my classes are over but this is one that I will keep for future references.

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CSI can make this look easy - this book shows us the complexities of crime scene investigation and the detailed work law enforcement must do to ensure they get the it right.

Thorough coverage and excellent details make for good learning and understanding for a rookie like me.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Great text for the course!
By That Guy
Gives clear instruction on how crime scene investigation works. When dealing with crime scene reconstruction, my professor was a bit lacking. Time spent reading, and rereading this book helped clear up some questions I had.

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[O493.Ebook] Download Ebook Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters, by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier Glynn

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With Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters, Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of the smash #1 bestseller Toxic Parents, offers a powerful look at the devastating impact unloving mothers have on their daughters—and provides clear, effective techniques for overcoming that painful legacy.

In more than 35 years as a therapist, Forward has worked with large numbers of women struggling to escape the emotional damage inflicted by the women who raised them. Subjected to years of criticism, competition, role-reversal, smothering control, emotional neglect and abuse, these women are plagued by anxiety and depression, relationship problems, lack of confidence and difficulties with trust. They doubt their worth, and even their ability to love.

Forward examines the Narcissistic Mother, the Competitive Mother, the Overly Enmeshed mother, the Control Freak, Mothers who need Mothering, and mothers who abuse or fail to protect their daughters from abuse.�

Filled with compelling case histories, Mothers Who Can’t Love outlines the self-help techniques Forward has developed to transform the lives of her clients, showing women how to overcome the pain of childhood and how to act in their own best interests.�

Warm and compassionate, Mothers Who Can’t Love offers daughters the emotional support and tools they need to heal themselves and rebuild their confidence and self-respect.

• Sales Rank: #273568 in Books
• Brand: Unknown
• Published on: 2013-10-01
• Released on: 2013-10-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.00" h x 1.01" w x 6.00" l, 1.00 pounds
• Binding: Hardcover
• 304 pages

Features

• Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters

From Publishers Weekly
In this powerful guide, Forward (Toxic Parents) offers a lifeline for those who have suffered through a dysfunctional relationship with a parent. After defining and describing the five most common types of abusive mothers (overly enmeshed; severely narcissistic; control freak; mothers who need mothering; and those who are physically and/or emotionally abusive) Forward gets to work showing adult daughters how to address the negative beliefs that grew from an unhealthy upbringing. With empathy, she assures those who suffer that the abuse is unequivocally not their fault and offers a series of exercises designed to reveal the truth of the situation, acknowledge the pain, learn to set boundaries, and break self-defeating patterns. In a particularly sensitive area, Forward addresses the issue of incest and mothers who have been complicit in such abuse, urging incest victims to seek professional therapy. While this title is labeled as a guide for women whose mothers are unable to love, its sound advice is applicable to persons of any gender. And while readers may be overwhelmed with painful memories at some junctures—an eventuality Forward expects and addresses—this book should be considered required reading for anyone who had an abusive childhood. (Oct.)

Review
“Forward validates the reader’s feelings and presents effective coping mechanisms, offering suggestions on setting boundaries, negotiating for a better relationship, [and] being assertive . . . Highly recommended.” (Library Journal (starred review))

“A useful challenge to accepted wisdom about the normally taboo subject of mother love, with helpful tips on how to jump-start the healing process.” (Kirkus Reviews)

“Once again Susan Forward has identified an important issue that has been calling out for her expertise and unique perspective. This landmark book is powerful, accessible and extremely supportive - just what women need! Her case examples are riveting, her techniques are brilliant and her wisdom is poignant.” (Beverly Engel, author of Healing Your Emotional Self and The Nice Girl Syndrome)

“A riveting, compassionate guide to helping women transcend the wounds inflicted by their rejecting or abusive mothers.” (Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, The Freedom Not To)

“Susan Forward has saved millions of lives with her profound wisdom that children raised by abusive parents need not “forgive and forget” to heal and move on to happy, healthy lives. . . . A powerful guide to self healing.” (Carole H. Brower, Research Professor, Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior, UCLA)

“I know so many women who will feel enormously grateful for Mothers Who Can’t Love, and rightly so. This thoughtful and thorough book will validate their feelings and their stories, and even more important will offer invaluable and empowering wisdom.” (Mira Kirshenbaum, author of I Love You but I Don't Trust You and Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay)

From the Back Cover

Bestselling author Susan Forward looks at the devastating impact unloving mothers have on their daughters and provides effective techniques for overcoming that painful legacy.

Over the course of thirty-five years as a therapist, Susan Forward has worked with a large number of women struggling to escape the emotional damage inflicted by the women who raised them. Subjected to years of criticism, competition, role reversal, smothering control, emotional neglect, and other forms of abuse, women raised by mothers who can't love are plagued by anxiety, depression, relationship problems, lack of confidence, and difficulties with trust.

But as Forward explains in Mothers Who Can't Love, it is possible to heal the mother wound and find help and validation. The many different kinds of unloving mothers—the narcissistic mother, the competitive mother, the overly enmeshed mother, the control freak, mothers who need mothering, and mothers who abuse or fail to protect their daughters from abuse—are all described in these pages. They each bring unique issues to the mother-daughter dynamic and need to be understood in order for healing to begin.

Filled with compelling case histories, Mothers Who Can't Love outlines the self-help techniques Forward has developed to transform the lives of her clients, showing women how to overcome the pain of their childhoods and act in their own best interests. Riveting and compassionate, this landmark book will give daughters the emotional support and tools they need to reclaim their confidence and self-respect so that the emotional destructiveness they grew up with does not constitute a legacy for future generations.

Most helpful customer reviews

393 of 402 people found the following review helpful.
The Validation I needed
By Catherine
I always seem to be a good candidate for Susan's books. I've read Emotional Blackmail, Toxic In-Laws, and I've already had the chance to skim over Toxic Parents. I was so impatient for this book: Mothers Who Can't Love to come out. How thoroughly relieving that someone dares to challenge the world's greatest taboo: Unloving Mothers. I was born to a woman who should have never been allowed to be a mother. Since cutting off my ties with my mother, I have been urged to reconcile and have been criticized with every line possible. I've heard the "she gave you life" and "honour thy mother". I've been told to try to understand her because of lack of education. I've been told to suck it up because everyone knew how she was. Susan lists all these cliches. The queen mother of all criticism and threats is: "I hope when you have kids, they will not do this to you." Susan understands how hard it is to come to terms with not having a loving mother and how it's even harder to defend your decision from the innumerable people who do not accept it.

The first part of her book addresses the many faces of an unloving mother. Mine was the narcissistic mother. Sometimes she could be downright psychotic and abusive. For me however when you have been hit enough, it's only a sheer irritation that my mother thought she could scare me with a belt. Susan gave me such clarity and validation with this section. I was always so confused as to why my mother could occasionally be loving and why everything went down the drain when I found my soulmate. These kinds of mothers don't mind you as long as you do what she wants you to do, as long as she has control over you, and most of all-- as long as you don't become a woman. I no longer feel threatened when my relatives try to remind me of the good times I had with my mother. In a lot of ways, I was no more than a piece of property to her. I was deprived and pruned so that I could one day be given away like property then people would see how amazing and strict she was. Thus, she would gain other people's fear and respect. That was her ambition all along and it didn't sit well with her that I refused to be treated like a trophy. My world came crashing down when I realized her need for fear and respect from a bunch of faceless people meant more to her than my life and happiness. She had no qualms about trying to break me, thinking I would eventually capitulate. Like many unloving mothers, she wreaked havoc on my conscience. I felt horrible for not obeying her commands. I felt so guilty whenever she reminded me of all she did for me. Like many daughters of unloving mothers, you break in another way be it physical illness or in my case: depression.

This book also made me aware of how every experience with an unloving mother will mold the way you go through life. I've been on the receiving end of my mother saying: "I wish you were never born" and "You should have died a long time ago"-- all in the same breath. However, her destruction did not start when I fell from grace. The tendency to feel responsible for other people's happiness, feeling guilty if you don't comply with other people's wishes, and chasing approval all steams from how your mother raised you. It was such a shock for me to read that love does not have to be earned. I still remember my bridesmaids' speech during my wedding. They called me loving. They said they loved me. I was speechless and felt that I didn't deserve it. Sure I love my husband but I never expected much of it back. How bizarre it was for me when he was always there for me and took care of me without a second thought. How bizarre it was for me when a friend pointed out that my husband loves me more than how other husbands love their wives.

All of these scars and self-punishment were from the way my mother programmed me from birth. No, I will never have a loving mother but that is okay. The notion of the Loving Mother is bade farewell in Susan's book. I learned to say that it's okay. Moreover, I can be a loving mother to myself. And just because I never received the nurture I needed, it doesn't mean that I can't be a loving mother when I have children.

Most importantly, my rights are spelled out. I no longer need to feel guilty. It was my right to live my life the way I wanted. It is MY choice whether I want to have my mother in my life. If I am ever urged or criticized again to have my mother in my life, that person will be on the receiving end of some very good non-defensive communication.

110 of 113 people found the following review helpful.
Mothers Who Can't Love
By Haxie
This book is truly about SURVIVAL for those of us who grew up as a hostage in this kind of home life. Some reviewers have pinged this book for spelling/grammatical errors, and I concede that is true; however, the true meat of the book is in the insights and background that give a basis for beginning to understand someone who is otherwise not understandable, as well as pointing out which patterns are in fact abusive. Doesn't excuse what was done; just makes it less alien and gives hope for healing the damage. Even just RECOGNIZING that damage really did happen is huge; my experience was that the so-called "helping agencies" (the court system, counselors, authors of pop psych books, doctors, friends and family's perception) did NOT help, but in fact increased the damage by taking the easy way out and telling me it was "all in my head" and "she couldn't have done that." This book has had a huge impact on my life already, and I will undoubtedly re-read it many times. I cannot overstate how helpful this book has been to me.

69 of 70 people found the following review helpful.
An honest look at bad mothers
By Oh, it's her.
The concept that mothers are good people by virtue of pushing a baby out of her nether-regions is pervasive. I don't know how many times I've heard people say that my mother wouldn't act the way she does if only I'd been a good child, or that my mother loved me in her own way and I just didn't understand, or even that I could have had it worse because she didn't hit me as much as others.

This book helped me realize that my mother's imperfections, projections, and most of all her abuse, were not my fault. I had already been on the path of healing but deep down I blamed myself for all of it.

The author is completely honest about how toxic some relationships can be. What I find particularly important is that she doesn't force you to think that every relationship is salvageable, unlike some other therapists and authors. Sometimes they won't change, sometimes they won't learn, and sometimes they will continue to abuse even worse than before. She tells you that it's okay to let go, and that you don't have to sacrifice your own health to pretend that the cultural script of "Mother's always right" is, well, always right.

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