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Remind Me Who I Am, Again, by Linda Grant
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In Remind Me Who I Am, Again, Linda Grant tells the story of her mother's gradual but devastating mental deterioration, her diagnosis as a victim of Alzheimer's disease, and her family's struggle to come to terms with the catastrophic impact of the disease. Iimmensely moving, at times darkly comic, and searingly honest, it combines biography and memoir in a unique examination of the profound questions of identity, memory, and autonomy that dementia raises.
- Sales Rank: #5324060 in Books
- Published on: 1999-03-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.50" h x .77" w x 5.00" l, .55 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 307 pages
From Publishers Weekly
Grant first charted her mother's decline into senile dementia in an article for the Guardian (U.K.). In response to a flood of readers' letters and her own need to examine her extended family history, she expanded that article into this moving account of second-generation Anglo-Jewry, published last year in England. Dual themes of memory and identity underlie the sad account of her mother's illness, which also becomes a metaphor for the lost history of an immigrant family. The family's roots in Eastern Europe were effectively destroyed, not only by the Holocaust but also by the family's desire to remember selectively, and not always truthfully, the story of its past. As a child, Grant thought family stories a bore; now she regrets her lack of interest and lost opportunities to know more about her parents. She chronicles her mother's decline with unflinching honesty, revealing her guilt and impatience with her mother's condition and her failings as a daughter. With nostalgic humor, she looks back on the experiences of her large, extended family of observant Jews who settled in a country where anti-Semitism, while not as virulent as in the Poland they had left, was not unknown. As her mother's condition deteriorates, Grant and her sister come to the painful decision to place her in a nursing home. While there is no upbeat ending to Grant's story, she affirms that people can react with dignity and sensitivity to the inevitable tragedies of old age. (June)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
"This blindingly wonderful portrait of Rose Grant - Jewish mother, shopaholic, owner of Jaeger suits - shows a woman who, even diagnosed with Multi-Infarct Dementia, still cares about the cut of clothes . . . Devastating at its core, this is a memoir brimming with love, honesty and some truly funny moments." -- Julie Myerson, Mail on Sunday
About the Author
Linda Grant was born in Liverpool in 1951. She was educated in Liverpool and studied at the University of York and in Canada. Since 1985 she has worked as a freelance journalist for broadsheet newspapers and magazines including Marie Claire, Vogue and Good Housekeeping. She is the author of Sexing the Millennium, and is a columnist with the Guardian.
Linda Grant's first novel, The Cast Iron Shore, won the David Higham Award in 1996 and was shortlisted for the Guardian Fiction Prize She lives in London.
Most helpful customer reviews
16 of 18 people found the following review helpful.
Worth the Read
By billski
I listened to Linda Grant on National Public Radio, Fresh Air program yesterday. Very interesting and moving.
I can relate to it as my father went thru a similar decline over a 3 year period. He suffered from TIA "mini-strokes" that slowly diminish selected brain capabilities, many times without the victim's or family's knowledge. Linda relates a similar experience. It's frustrating in not ever really knowing what is going on inside his ticker when you speak. It's frustrating to know that each person loses different capabilities at different times. It drags you down, with everything seeming so one-sided. It's frustrating that modern medicine is essentially powerless to stop this degeneration, with no effective tools or strategy.
Linda is much more articulate than I could be in describing the same experience I went through.
If it does nothing more, it gives those of us a comparative basis by which to judge our own decisions in similar circumstances.
For those who have been thru this, it gives us someone to relate to. For those who have not, it prepares you. As a boomer, I've finally graduated to what I call 'adulthood': where we are sandwiched between two generations who both depend upon us. Calling the experience overwhelming only begins to describe it.
Worth the read.
0 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A memoir of individual memory and family history
By D. Cloyce Smith
Linda Grant, a feature writer for the Guardian [UK], has written a memoir about memory, focusing both on the loss of her family's history as the older generations die off and the deterioration of her mother's mind due to Multi-Infarct Dementia [MID], which stifles short-term memory and gradually scrambles older recollections. The book is also a intensely personal struggle against the guilt and helplessness one feels when making the necessary decision to commit a loved one to an institution.
Grant is descended from Jewish immigrants who arrived from Russian and Poland and settled in Britain and America before the Second World War. (Many of her family's relatives who remained behind were, of course, killed by the Nazis.) A somewhat rebellious daughter during the heady and reckless Sixties, she soon realizes that all those stories that used to bore her as a child will soon be lost forever: "My mother, the last of her generation, was losing her memory," she mourns. "In a hundred years there will no one left alive who remembers her, who can tell you who she was.... Without the past we're nothing, we belong to nobody." All that remain are a few scattered photographs and letters lacking any basic context and the occasional recollection that her mother summons up out of the blue and whose authenticity Grant can no longer verify.
The second aspect of the book is the most moving--and the most laudable. Grant recounts the frustrations and the episodes that led her and her sister to intercede and commit their mother to a care center, and she describes the legal and bureaucratic obstacles that nearly prevented them from making this step. What makes this decision particularly difficult--and, to some strangers, hardhearted--is that her mother is capable of periods of perfect lucidity and social grace. Grant describes how, while her mother's domestic conditions and intellectual capacity deteriorated to the point where she became a danger to herself, she retained an acute awareness of how she appeared to others as well as "the basest, most acquisitive part of ourselves"--the urge to go shopping: "So we shop together, outside time, mother and daughter united each in our own purposeful quest to do what we have always done, and which to her goes on making sense."
What keeps this book from surrendering to guilt and self-pity is Grant's admirable sense of humor--some of her sketches are heart-achingly funny--as well as the research that lends its framework an aura of objectivity. "Remind Me Who I Am, Again" certainly provides comfort and advice to relatives of those with aging family members, but it is also a valuable read to anyone who cares about individual memory and family history.
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
beautiful and sad
By A Customer
If you've ever had a relative or loved one slip away into dementia, this book will strike home. And if you've had a friend going through this experience, this book will help you to understand what they are going through. This book, like the experience of living with dementia, is at times funny, at times tearful. It's an honest picture of what it's like to be with someone who is rapidly losing who they were.
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